tellout.

2006-03-11T09:58:00.000-08:00

I NEED A BREAK.
A BREAK FROM LIFE.
A BREAK FROM LIFE WITH PEOPLE AROUND ME.
A BREAK FROM LIFE ASSOCIATED WITH SINGAPORE.

HOW I WISH I CAN STUDY IN REAL OVERSEAS AFTER MY A LEVELS.
IT WON'T HAPPEN.
BUT I JUST WISH FOR A CHANGE.
BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF WHAT'S IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

LOST IDENTITY.
'M I A MALAYSIAN OR A SINGAPOREAN?
WHEN I'M IN SINGAPORE, I FEEL MALAYSIAN.
WHEN I'M IN MALAYSIA, I FEEL SINGAPOREAN.
YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
I CAN BE A SINGAPOREAN IN SINGAPORE.
BUT I FEAR LOSING MY ROOTS.
THOUGH IT MAY SEEM NOT WORTH IT TO RETAIN.
BUT HOME IS ALWAYS HOME.

BUT I CAN NEVER BE A TRUE MALAYSIAN IN MALAYSIA.
BECAUSE I CAN'T SPEAK THE LANGUAGE.

THIS IMBALANCE WILL NEVER BE IN EQUILBRIUM.
H-E-L-P.

wadever~

2006-03-11T07:24:00.000-08:00

la li da~

2006-03-04T07:01:00.000-08:00

common test is just a damn next week.
math die gp die.
die die and die everything die.

drove mama manual car yesterdae.
and i shall conclude that
i drive better with a manual car than an auto one.
ehhey. mb i'm just born to be a racer! hahaha.
dat's real crap.
because i'm making damn alot of mistakes when driving.

and i think it's fun with gears and clutches.
without them, i'm bored.
and i start to worry things that come naturally to me when i'm busy.

bad.

but i wonder if it's cos mama car is smaller.
i can't see alot of things when driving daddy car.

=)

struck. the fragility of life.

2006-02-24T07:03:00.000-08:00

the fragility of life. and my new perspective towards life.

"we can lose anyone close to us the very moment. we will never know it."
[ todae or many moments ago, one is standing alive infront of you, with so much shared memories. but the very next time you see he/she, would be his/her body.]

"do not take life for granted."

"do what you want do do. you'll never know when you will be leaving."

"extend your greatest help within your capability."
[ i used to ignore those beggars at the malaysian customs underpass because i used to feel that they could have gotten themselves a job. but now, i feel that, maybe because of me not giving them a ringgit, or mb a few cents, it could have cost their life. no body noe when they will die. wad if the die the very next moment, and the day before when they are beggin, wanted to do something so badly, but because of my selfishness, they couldn't do it. etc. i've been thinking and reflecting about life alot since monday. even if they are hoax, my consioucs is clear. i've helped you with my tiny sum of money. what you do with the money is up to you. ]

"cherish everyone around so that when you go unexpectedly, it's without regrets."
[ something i'm now trying very very to acheive. i'm learning how to treat my parents well. and of course my sister. they have been a very hugggee part of me. and what they have given me is more than what i can give them. ]

something has struck me so hard this time though it's not the first time i'm facing the same situation. because of some similarities, the thought of me being in this situation has been haunting me.

but i was helpless. i'm not in her shoes. i won't know how she feel. here am i, very concerned about her, yet i've done nothing. we've been friends for a decade. very very good friend. she has been my side when i needed her most. but have i been what she has been to me? i doubt so. we even spent holidays together.

i really don't know what shall i do.

i just hope she's being very strong.
i wonder how's she.

2005-12-25T11:14:00.000-08:00

朝阳.

hehe. i just like this two words. of course, this is the cbd district in beijing.
but. IF i say IF which is very unlikely i have a son, [HA-HA-HA], i feel like naming him 朝阳. i think this name is so powerful! BUT when i was scanning through singapore st. directory on xmas eve, there's this -chao yang special school. haha.

朝阳 means follow the sun right? haha. but the sun is dying. whopps. crape!

my xmas eve: ikea and night safari.
supposed to go to the zoo. but when we reached sg, it's already 4. and the zoo closes at 6. so wad to see? and it was still raining at the time. so we decided to go to ikea.
oh. btw...

wednesday:
my parents and i went to moe to pay the donation. of which we were supposed to pay around april. but i din receive any letter from the school. after that, we went to ikea. hell me. such a damn goondooo. i dun even noe the way to ikea!!!! we were so near. at queensway sec there. but hell. i still din noe where to turn. and i kept giving daddy the wrong wrong directions that we kept going the wrong wrong way despite being soooooooo nearrrrr!!!!!! and finally, it was my mum who went..i think it's near alexandra rd. there's a sign board reading that and so we turned in. saw queensway shopping centre!! i was happy. den dad went left or right. stupid me said right. my mum sae shuld be left wad. we were in the traffic light long queue. so we made another u turn to get onto the right tracks. I'M SO DUMB!!!!! but anywae we got there.

haa. one super duper hilarious thing was...
as we were queuing into the carpark, we saw everybody infront just driving to the 'gate' and the gate went up automatically. our turn. dad drove up to the gate...but NOTHING HAPPENED!!!! i saw 'insert cashcard/ autopass' so faster asked my dad to do it. and wad's worst..he couldn't get it in! haha. but eventually yes. haa! i bet the cars behind must be

'aiyo so slow'
looks at our number plate and ' orh..malaysians..canot blame.'!

as we went in, omg. guessed who i saw? xiao hei! haha. me and ma went up the escalotor.
my mum went : who u looking at?
me: my schoolmate
mum: indian arh?
me: ha ha ha! no larh! chinese.

den. went up. aaa..where's my dad??? looked down the escalator but no sight of him. den we went down and i called him. he's in the toilet. he came out and went up the escalator. and i called him soooo many times b4 he responded. haa!

and my parents were quite shocked that ikea actually has that kind of showrooms or models. wadever u call it. it's their first time there. and my first time there with car. hahahahhaaha!

we kinda rushed. cos we have to beat the jam...but we still got stuck in the jam. abit only larh. went back my first link. second link is bloooodddyyy expensive.

back to xmas eve...
anyway, we were damn lucky. when sis checked the internet, second link jam. but when we reached there, it's cleared! but hell singapore customs as usual went about their super duper tight security check. do you noe, there's a small lil hill out of no where? and it's concrete hill. haha. under neath is sure to scan our cars. grz. and as usual gurkahs alot. and their standard height and loook. grz.

and there's lots of kl carrrrs!!!! so many first timers. i noe because...hehe. they stop by the side and go buy their autopass! kl pple go singapore hol okay larh. but johorean like us...go singapore is so weird to me! and to my family.

headed to ikea. via buona vista. so hafta passed by commonwealth mrt station. and that damn stretch of road...FLOODED! so we are lil foolish malaysians, who are supposed to be involved in the north mal flood, got involved in singapore rare flood instead. i snapped a few pics. because..how often do you see flood in singapore? HA HA HA!

at ikea, daddy chose a room and sat down and read newspaper. and we ate there. ikea closed at 6pm that day!

safari.

oh my freakin god. imagine the people. so damn huge crowd. mostly foreigner.- we were one too! haha.
as in mostly by tour group. so many indians! and japanese.

hm...i think it isn't super duper nice..okok only...

tram and walks. and animal show. okok larh. haha. to me the animals are just like singapore zoo. grzz..

after that, we headed down to orchard road. but hell. which ever roads lead to orchard rd, JAM!

we went back jb.

and so back home. =)

i'm so piggy todae. woke up at 12 and went back to sleep at 2 and woke up at 5.30

at least something productive was that i went jogging with daddy later.

and i just completed my photo collage. REAL ONE! 4 x 4=16

i bought a big frame from ikea. which i'm putting the collage into... reason: to cover up the patches of stain on the wall.

my room seriously need painting. since 1996 no paint. but i'm not going kl this year for cny. they are coming down. so...paint? lazy larh. haha.

yun sae her house 3 years paint once. haha. mine???

hm. sch reopening. i dun want!!!!!!

argh. so many typo error and gramatical mistake which i'm too lazy to bother about it.

and. hell. i dun want school!!!!

last year todae, i'm in pangkok island...witnessing small tsunami waves by standing just beside the waves. wth. i din noe i was so close to death that time.

todae is one year on tsunami...

huggeee sighhh

2005-12-22T07:17:00.000-08:00

my grik trip is cancelled.
so where am i for xmas?

actually plan to change the novotel hotel clarke quay from amex..the points collected from the credit card thing. but ma called todae, the thing would be ready by tomolo. and it can't reach jb by sat. wth.

so now?
i think xmas eve just go night safari and mb go orchard countdown and then come back to jb.

singapore hotels are god damn expensive man. [ when i convert to ringgit. =) don't ask me to not convert.]

haizzzzz.
so boringgggggggggggggggggg.

god damn borrrrriiinnnnggggg.

like forever stuck in jb and singapore only.

this is really making me dead.

i spent my whole dae watch vcd todae man. argh. wad a waste.
watched the prince who turned into the frog.
because i missed the in front.
now i'm done with it. =)

blog.!

2005-12-20T01:50:00.000-08:00

christmas is coming....
where will i be?
grik.
not greek.
grik. is north east of ipoh, north peninsular malaysia.
i will be stuck in some monastry in the middle of the main range,
singing christmas carols with buddha? haha.
24 dec there. 25 dec shuld be kl. 26 dec back to jb.

but. north mal now flood like mad shit.
dunor the area we are going is affected.
we have to cross many many bridges.
and last time daddy went, the bridge collapse.
but when they reached there, they have already repaired the bridge.

haha.
sounds so ulu rite?
and i wonder if dad's coming 10 year old car can tahan!
this car..go so many places b4.
went up to the thai border dunor how many times.
and went up brinchang @ cameron highlands.
it's one of the highest peak car can reach in this area!
and that was really a matter of life and death!
because the road was winding and narrow,
and there's no barricade!
if my dad made a mistake, we would fall into the ravine.
and die!
anyway, dad's car haven't been all the way throu east coast.
i think the furthest only cherating. - club med.

club med. damnnnn. i wanna go! but it's quite expensive...

last weekend was fulfiling. read my lj. haa!

anyway, i think i'm heading for doomsday.
because my home work are piling up as high as the highest thing ever.
and my revisions are negative infinity done.!

hm. if not for being a malaysian, my sis would be in shanghai now
she couldn't go because she doesn't have an employment pass
and so couldn't make business visa.

singapore tomolo? most prob.
supposed to go on mondae.
den supposed to go todae.
and so finally supposed to go tomolo.

2005-11-24T23:59:00.000-08:00

mooddooommeetterrrr : 9.5/10!

I PASSED MY DRIVING THEORY TEST! 43/50.
passed by one mark.
luckily the examiner gave me some answers!
she's good and bad! because she called my '4 eyed girl' in cantonese and i din noe she was referring to me! and when i yawned..she also sae me! haha. but later..when i left alot of blanks..she even flipped to the quenstion..and just gave me the answer!

thomasling messaged me..he got 46/50! smart ass!!!!!!!!

and who i met there?
1) jiayuan- last time chinese tuition mate
2) choon ming- ex pri sch mate and bus mate
3) hong jiun- i think this is his name...ex pri sch mate..
4) yong sheng- ex chinese tution mate too!

and i met this girl who went with me from perling..she studied in aussie.
and i saw this guy..who atteneded the same class as me..i found out..he's from njc! another smart ass.
and i saw this gurl from nyjc. she failed.

and many foreigners..
chinese got about 4..filipino 2..burmese 1.. and indian 1. woho. but they all most of them is like 3/4 timer le..

i really wonder hong jiun got pass! grzz...
and jiayuan was shocked that he din pass!

another reason why my mood is so high...
I DROVE A CAR JUST NOW!
daddy taught me.. start engine, free gear, handbrake, clutch, brake, accelator! woot. so many things. and of course from still to first gear..jerk like mad shit! and sometimes from acceleration to brake.. the engine went off because i din put free gear! but this is fun! i'm having more lessons from daddy after china trip.

and my china trip..
the tour leader called..told my mum alot of things.. and said that our group is 33! wad the hell! sucha a big grp and she also said there're quite a number of children cos most of them are families.. and they come from all over malaysia..jb, penang, sabah..kuantan. wahseh..typical malaysian! oh. mum just said below 18 alot! grz. dun tell me below 8 more. i'll die!

and she told ma..in chengde..lowest -10 and highest is like 2-3 only. i went..crazy. i really hate cold weather. that's why i've no regrets living in 365 24/7 summer climate. oh well..too early for me to say though.. geehee.

and yay. my violin is alive once again! i had 1 hour of violin todae..and i bought the sliencer..wadever it is called! but it lowers the noise...gd..

packing..and seems like i dun haf lots of things to bring lerh. but my mum alot. haha.

tomolo is bbq........shuld i get tanned? yay!
meeting up with beloved people again!!!!!!!!!
i must finish packing to nite! hee

d-o-d-g-e-b-a-l-l

2005-11-11T10:49:00.000-08:00

dodgeball!!!!!!

i noe i soounds like some freaking asshole out dated lil fellow who just finished watching dodgeball minutes ago despite it out last damn year! ha-ha-ha!

but i was laughing to myself as if i'm a crazy bitch!

'aim low! and he will be like fucking the doorknob!'

ha-ha-ha! can't stop laughing even till now!

i think one day we all should really play dodgeball!

btw... i din watch it last year because i think i went for tan chong hui's extra lessons..while twenty seven and peeps went. boo hooo...
oh no.
not her lessons.
i think i had music. exam or lesson. booohooooo. but at least i watched it!!!!

average's joe ready
purple cobra ready

d-o-d-g-e-b-a-l-l-!!!!!!!!

daa-deee---dum---

2005-11-10T09:09:00.000-08:00

watched chicago half way this afternoon and fell asleep...
watched everlasting love just now and the dvd got stuck...
equals to
i din even complete one movie todae...
when i bought 3 today.
wth!
i wanted to buy chicago and meet the fookers.
but when i was at there, i fliped through..and saw damn alot more to buy.
and i 4got to get meet the fookers.
really fooking hell!

morning was shit. mum fetched me to gelang patah to take the 8.15am bus but the bus only came at 8.45 and left at 8.50am. but i met a nice girl and chatted all the way. and in sg customs, a group of thai uniformed people were there. and they were young. geehee. crazy me. i'm trying to sae they are some of them..quite gd looking. but i wasn't paying attention because i was talking. anyway, loathed them a lil because they made me lined up for so long. ohh...crazy me.

dun talk about the handling up of file.

was supposed to go out with germs to ikea. my mum called and told me i din sign the visa form and my international passport. yes. i never sign my passport unless i'm going to use them. same for my restricted. and and.. if i'm not going to china, i guess my passport would be left a virgin till it expires. since i make internationl passport is always for a precaution- in case i lose my restricted one. that's why i don't care about my restricted one at all. now, they have stopped issuing new restricted ones. so sad.

lunch lavender at holidae plaza. ate the cheapest i could find on the menu- nasi lemak. ee. not very nice. but the ice lemon tea was fab. the cup was so freaking high and the spoon was so freaking long!

seems like lj is now more for grievances? haha. no public view? =) i've been using since 2002. haa. online journal for nearly 3 years. woot.

and i realise i'm not updating my blog as frequent as last time. mb because...hee. shan't say.

azahari is killed. yay rite.? malaysian~
aman, jordan bomb blast. freak.

only 2 news.- the result of me not listening to bbc and not reading newspaper. fuck. and also not dicussing or listening to current affairs to enough people. i hate this kind of life.

fyi:
malacca for me this weekend.
celebrate my grandpa bdae.

yay. outstation. finally. no. again. outstation! yay! a day not in the state of johor. how nice... but going back to kl is even better. guess i won't be going back so soon. booooooo~~~~. no.
i will be in kl on 27th nov. the day after my birthdae. ahheemmm.
i fly from kl to beijing. =) free connecting flight from jb to kl because i take mas.

life is a journey that's seemingly neverending, and life is a journey with diguised and digusted with protocol- i dislike.

2005-11-07T08:17:00.000-08:00

PEEE-----DDAAAAA----BBBEEERRR-----LLLEEEWWW------

hotcakesssss..hehe.
me.
germaine.
=)

2005-11-03T08:13:00.000-08:00

chinese new year 2005.
anyway for my non- malaysian friends...
a typical malaysian cny is practically travelling!
i count myself lucky for not having to travel to super up north like penany, alor star.
the 2 destinations i travel to are:
selangor [dad's place] and malacca [mum's place]
and it can be classified as:
kampong cny and city cny.
so...

I ENJOY THE BEST OF CNY- KAMPONG CNY AND TOWN CNY! BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!

hehe.
see those eggs.
the largest one is actually an ostrich egg.
the not so large one is goose's
the rest chickens.

and my uncle has a small farm opposite his house...
his two goose is so cute but freaking noisy.
and see their green shit.
my uncle even caught a snake in the enclosure!
of course, it ended up in their stomach.
but my uncle got bitten by it too.!

the mountain you see in the background,
is the main range.
and there's where genting highlands lies.
i could even see genting's fireworks display from my uncle's hse!
how big the fireworks are at genting and how close my uncle's hse is to genting.

we usually have our celebrations and everything at my aunt's hse which is walking distance.
first day of cny would be to the water fall!
serendah waterfall. beautiful!
and there's even a hot spring nearby!
fruit orchard..which i've been to when i was young.
and sometimes, my dad would take me on anybody's motorbike round the kampong.

so kampong life is damn nice. i always look forward to going back to serendah, which is an hour drive from kl.

oh ya. see the school?
that's my daddy's secondary school. in rawang.
15 min drive from serendah.
my dad used to go to school by foot!

second day- to malacca.
super jam @ seremban highway.
jammed like 2 hours before. because of a bottle neck.
i mean... 3 lane, become 2 lanes.

second night is usually at my lavish granduncle house.

this year the third day was a lil different.
my mum's ex classmates visited her!
and we also went to one of them house.
my sis and i are gd friends of my mum's classmates' children- er. we are family friend.
and also.
not in pic...
my uncle's friendsss and family also came visit him!
one is.. in singapore. wife is ex malacca state volleyball player!
another one is.. in guangzhou! i think he's also ex malacca state volleyball player.
er. my uncle was also an ex malacca state volleyball player.
how cool! =)

so my cny are very very very very very very rarely celebrated in johor bahru.
and, i travel nearly 1000km every new year.
this is a typical malaysian new year.
and i love it to bits and pieces.

my malaysian identity!

2005-11-03T08:08:00.000-08:00

chalet last year... this year?
too bad no more sentosa.
backyard bathing is the best! hehe.
and our advertisement at gelare!

2005-11-03T08:02:00.000-08:00

05s11 last day of school.

first row:
1-- guys at the window
2-- class photo with many missing
3-- jess me jolynn-> 'ao'

second row:
1-- class photo with more people
2-- me and jess =)
3-- me and jolynn =(

third row:
1-- jess and jo take 1
2-- jess and jo take 2 and so that's the height equality!
3-- jess and my shoes! huugggee difference!

2005-11-03T07:49:00.000-08:00

05s07 again...
one of the very last days.
and a song composed and sang by jingyi and ernest!

2005-11-03T07:36:00.000-08:00

pulau ubin trip with so7!!!
damn. that's so nice...
and our dinner at a corridor @ shaw
and our tonning at siong chye's hse!

2005-11-03T07:29:00.000-08:00

first row:
1-- my pasta @ bakerzin, paragon. the ham is more than the pasta
2-- my grandpa and the teapot.
3-- the teapot which fascinated us!

second row:
1-- blackforest
2-- tiramisu
3-- gelare waffle

third row:
1-- gelare waffle
2-- yun and her gelare waffle
3-- yun's thumb and our food @ marche!

2005-11-03T07:26:00.000-08:00

fiesta riverside!

2005-11-03T07:19:00.000-08:00

bo liao again.
that's sunset from my house's car porch.
guppies: my dad separated them into 2 'pots' because of their population expansion!
orchid.- my dad place it on top of the pillar. my cousin commented that this plant never fail to bloom when she comes!
the pink flower: i dunor what's it called. but we have 4 pots. - as in one for each of us.

i'm going to do more collage!!! it's so fun!

2005-11-03T07:13:00.000-08:00

just learnt how to make this. hehe.

pulau langkawi---> pulau redang---> kukup and pulau kukup---> ipoh for xmas.---> pulau pangkor

actually quest to visit all islands in malaysia.
but i was in pangkor island when tsunami struck. even caught tsunami waves there! so visit to islands has been temporaily halted by my family.

but hopefully next year---> lang tengah!!!!!! i hope so i hope so.

and christmas this year? ---> most prob singapore.

thirstyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

2005-11-02T22:31:00.000-08:00

SOMEONE PLEASE QUENCH MY THRISTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

apparently, the only person who has recently quenced my thrist is lynn! who told me about the karl rove event. and i'm craving for more.

i dug out that issue of time mag, which rove was on the cover page and read that article. but i haven't finished reading. and i'm super blur over what's going on. i need someone to tell me- via their mouth. cos i absorb the best when listening to somebody talk.

anyway, those involved are... [if i'm not wrong] [ n pardon my spelling.!]

karl rove- bush administration chief strategist
valarie plame- CIA undercover agent. rove is accused of leaking this secret
joe wilson- plame's husband, ex ammbassor, went to Niger to check out the selling of yellowcake [uranium?] to iraq before the war as U.S claim that iraq possess WMD
robert novark- journalist at new york times? he was the one who wrote about plame identity?
patrick fitzergerald- dunor wad dunor wad lawyer. but important role also.

some say rove is a victim of a political scandal.? but rove is a hell brainy human! guess he has resigned or what?

plame- has been a covert agent for decades. but ever since her marriage to wilson, a high profile ammbassor, she.. er. not an undercover anymore?

um. hm. telll me more tell me more please.

BUT WHO?

i'm a foreigner in a foreign country.

2005-10-28T07:15:00.000-07:00

why'm i here? this is a fucking post. u can dun read if u think you will feel fucked up over wad i sae. tell u first. it's really fucking. but i'm really voicing out.

anywae...
shuk: that's not my god. my cousin's one..in kl..i think now shuld be quite big le. but i hope it's still there. cos she always buy and sell buy and sell. cos last time she lives in condo. now move to landed property le..and she claims she won't sell this dog. and all my cousins hope so. but we sae 6 months later the dog sure gone le. haha.

yesterdae:
on the way to sch, on bus 160. i was sleeping soundly as usually, with the notion that din wake up in time nvm. yingxuan will wake me up. but when i woke up...oh no...i turned to looked at him. and he smilied. grzzzzz....we've already missed the bustop that we were suppposed to get down to walk the forest. but luckily this is 160. so we got down at phoenix.

so todae:
i kept waking up in b/w my sleep. = not sleeping soundly..that wad went on in my brain till now is
someting like..
"the iraq's oil for food programmee investigation has finally finished. more than 2000 companies are involved in this scandal, they include siemens and damlier chrysler from germany. saddmn hussein sold oil to them despite un's sanction. this is because he can sell oil as long as he use the money to buy hunamitarian stuff like medical supply. those foreign co involved claim that they have no idea this is going on because this might be the job of the middleman. and this investigation cos 15 million or 1.5 billion.i can't remember."

ha-ha. i wonder how's saddamn now. he stil claims that's he's the legetimate president of iraq. which my daddy always sae so. and he's tried in such an unbiased court. wad the hell is this? m. but pple who really suffered under his regime tot that dae he was trialed was only a fantasy in the past.

I WAS REALLY FUCKED UP TODAY.
i went to the office in the morning to hand in my ns thingy letter. the clerk told me to go back after school.

i went back after school. and asked the person at the counter for cip form also. she's fucko pissed off by my smiling face. and when i explained to her that i want to collect my letter, she replied to me in a way as if i'm shit. loudly, rudely, impaitently. why? cos i'm a malaysian har? fuck. i was keeping my cool. din flare up. but i was feeling so unjustified and hurt by the way she's talking to me that i began to feel my tear duct flowing. i explained to her that i got selected for ns letter so i had given a letter asking for a defferal letter. i told her. i told her. but she's saying i dunor and all that stuff. and sae the clerk half day, has already gone home. and seeing that i'm on the verge of breaking down, she told me to return 15 minutes later, there's another clerk who's gone to lunch. i went out without listening finsh wad she was saying. and i controlled my tears. yes. mb she's busy and dat's why she's so fucke up. BUT THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT.. i dun understand why she talked to me that way. if i were xiaoli of the past, i would have flared up at her and shouted at her and demanded my letter. but no. i learn my way.

after going to the toilet, i waited outside the office. i din want to go in without the clerk having returned from lunch. because i dun want to see her. i noe it would evoke my fucking tears again. i dunor wad happened. i cried again. and this time -cannot stop. i tink i freaked jess out. and nancy passedby. tot i did badly for promos or wad. and so the chinese man i think he's the operation manager came by. and asked me what i doing there? asked me who i looking for ? or wad i looking for? i said i looking for someone and something. and he went in. and the clerk came out. she was kind. and asked me if i were the one who gave a letter to her this morning. she said i shuld have said to that rude fellow i want my deferment letter. i call it deferal letter. i dunor which is right. i said that i explained to her evreything and she din understand, choking on my own tears and my already bad nose since morning. she said calm down..and she's like dat. the clerk told me to write down my i/c no. and said dey can't type without my i/c. i attached the photostated letter. which was not filled in that's why.

even when i left the office, i couldn't stop my tears.. until i reached coffee bean.

the waiter... din ask me for my name. i tot cos no body so no need name.
den when i sat down. i saw..he drew a specs on the cup. haha.

and oh ya. when i was at the underpass, i donated money. to ward off the bad karma i experienced at the office.

i guess it's cos i'm too bloody tired and stressed over chinese. when i'm tired and stressed, i tear easily.

and. while i was walking forest, which was a bad choice cos it just rained and the path was completely flooded for a few section and i had to find a way out of course. which is. dun walk on the path le larh. walk on the grass. it paid off. but requires damn alot of balancing. which i've been losing since this morning.
and so from the forest till i reach singapore customs [there's big jam], i was thinking. how shuld i deal with such unruly person. i tot i whuld have said loudly 'THANKYOU VERY MUCH' to her b4 i left. and i wonder why isn't she sacked? and why having being a human for so long, and being in the working world for so long, she still dunor how to control her temper? sounds so childish to me. i wonder how come such old people are so immature. seems like i'm thinking better than her. she needs to be more mindful. anyway. i silently swear to myself that..next time when i go in to the office, if she's the only person i can approach, i will meet my eyes' with hers and walk out. no use talking to humans who doesn't treat me like one. one time is enough. this sounds immature eh? haha. mb i shall be magnanimous and forget and forgive wad has happened. see how things progress... hehe. but if she's still like wad she's den. byebye.

and also.
i tot. WHEN CAN I GET OUT OF SINGAPORE???
is it because this year...
i'm suddenly living a world without any foreigner friends around me.
without any malaysians around me.
that i can't talk about things happening in malaysia...
like...DO YOU NOE @ JOHOR JAYA..somewhere aorund there..mount austin there... A DAMN BIG JUSCO IS OPENING? IT'S LIKE MID VALLEY SO LONG U NOE!!!!!! rumors sae there will be ikea. i hope it's true. dadddy sae it will open b4 xmas.ahhhh!!! tell non malaysians...as if they noe where mount austin, johor jaya are and wad is jusco.

and i somewhat feel that people in the island think they are always far superior than us. and think that malaysians are sua gu assholes, who are living in a backward country.

and my life in pj is fucked as a malaysian. especially when i'm late for sch due to jams, they interrogate me as if i'm late on purpose each and everytime i am late. and i have to repeat the same old thing.
i really think those people who ask me the same qn about my late coming shuld try out my life. they are the real sua- gu asses. and i hate them for sympathezing me for waking up half past 4 in the morning. hell. use their fucking brains and think. want to see if i'm lying. go to the internet to check the traffic condition of the causeway larh. or call traffic watch. want the number? even my grandpa noes how to use it.

hell.

and it's really no fucking big deal being a malaysian who stays in jb and travel in singapore everyday to school. sua gu asses again. dun wah over this damn miniature matter. this is magnify your sua gu ness.

at least nearly all my malaysian friends noe somehow current affairs. cos their parents will touch about it a lil. now? no. i'm dead. i'm really dying. prepare a coffin. haa.

i dun like life now.

of course i dun mean singapore is completely bad. there are nice ones too. but my life is crowded with suagu ones..ever since i come to pj.

but. i noe where's my home- malaysia.
i won't be a singaporean. the most a PR. nothing more than that.
and i'll nv call it a home.
retirement will be in malaysia or elsewhere but not this island country.

and btw. if i dun say i'm a malaysian, everybody thinks that i'm a singaporean. ever since i've been in p1. it's like that.

and so when i'm back in malaysia, i'm always mistaken for a singaporean, which i really hate like mad. that's why i put my malaysian i/c in my wallet, hoping that when i take money, they will see i'm also one of them. and i always try to speak malay. er. u noe larh. my malay cmi.

eg: at holiday plaza..i was paying for the parking.
me: card cannot ..
he does something.
he: singapore?
me: tak..malaysian..sekolah singapore.
when i shuld sae..
tak..saya malaysian, tapi berlajah singapore.
no...i'm malaysia, but study in singapore.
haha. dunor if this is right.

but the most proudest conversation is on causeway link.
i pressed the bell and told the driver..
er...bustop turun.
dat means get down at the bustop. haa. turun. sounds chim to me k? haha.

but everytime when i changing bus in gelyang patah when i go home by second link...i would go..
uncle..pergi perling?
but i shuld sae..
encik, ini bus pergi perling?
sir, this bus goes to perling?

there's one time i was in gelyang patah waiting for my dad. the bus conductor said in malay...that why i not getting up the bus. i can't speak but can understand a lil.
me..so dumb. replied:
papa datang. = daddy coming.
haha.
later when i got on the car, i immmediately asked my dad how to say it properly.
but now i've forgotten...hehe.

at least i noe my satu dua tiga perfectly till sepuloh. and i can listen perfectly to how much in malay. which my sis can't last time. haha. she has taken malay course in uni. which is so hilarious. her teacher asked her to form a sentence. she said....

' saya potong kepala!' her whole class burst into laughter!
instead of

'saya potong kelapa'

kepala= head
kelapa= coconut
saya= I
potong= cut

haha. so i speak malay like shit. but it's still understandable. i think if i go ns and speak this kind of malay, people would laf like mad. haha. i aim for a fluent malay.

provincial plan: after a levels, get the secondary school history textbook...in malay of course. but sounds dumb.

mm..
xiao ren guo thinks tat:
west side pple
freak out over malaysians who live in jb and study in sg.
dun talk as sharp
not gentleman.
dun do extreme gossiping.
dun give bad to the extreme remarks.
and blah blah.
as compared to north side people.

dat's why we are both dying.

awhile more. awhile more. i'll leave this place full of non- foreigners. . . . and suagu asses...

SIM CITY 3000

2005-10-10T02:06:00.001-07:00

This is the city I've built and run!
Sim city 3000. Nice game. =)
City Name: Gaprious Langly
Mayor: Langly Hants
Hee. Don't ask me why I gave these names!

This is the overview.

M..The commerical area I call it. See the Stock Exchange? The land value is Astronomical here! But I added one 3x3 plot of Dense Residential! Just nice to accommodate one luxury apartment.

One of my favourite Dense Residential area. See all those posh buildings! This plot of land, nearly 90%, the land value is Astronomical. Only with land value very high can you get those buildings.

Another view. But this is a bit blur. And you can see the commerical building.

Beside the tall white building[commerical land] is the University. This is a gift from the people. =). The commerical land value is Astronomical! And this budiling is the one I love most! It's called Quinley Insurance. And that's the railway bridge! Those thing you see on the water is Marina. Expensive recreational.

Dense Residential. I made a hill. And the houses on the hill are powered by wind mill. But sadly, the land value is only high. See the Effiel Tower? One city is entitled to 10 landmarks-free!

My camera ran out of battery. That's why only these few pictures! Still got alot of things about this game- the transport, recreational, education, health, industry, business, power, water supply, garbage, airport, seaport, crime, fire. I hope I didn't miss out anything.

And you got to watch the land value, aura, traffic, pollution and blah.

Hehe. Don't ask me why I like this game!

Now my land value, the lowest is low and highest is astronomical.
For the game, the lowest you can go is very low.

But the low land value is for the dense industrial. Some of my dense industrial even reached medium land value!

My commerical one is at least medium. I am aiming for all very high.
Residential also medium. That part medium. I'm trying damn hard to raise it. But to no avail...

Guessed I'm talking alien language.!

chunk of updates from lj...

2005-10-02T13:10:00.000-07:00

seriously, i dun like to use blogger. i think it's quite troublesome as compared to my livejournal. here's what i've not been updating here but it's in lj...

Tuesday, September 27th, 2005
me, jessica and jolynn signed out from school today. on the basis that we all 3 were sick. true for me and true for jessica. jolynn. half true. haha.

as i started was embarking on my forest trail to school, my nose decided to function as a tap. my mucus flowed down my nose holes uncontrobally. lazy to take out the tissue from my bag, i walked all the way to school wiping away the mucus with my hand and then wiping on whatever thing i can wiped on- my skirt, shirt?. i know i'm digusting.- pure laziness. hehe.

econs was not too bad, being the first lesson of the day. i never dread econs lessons. =) and oh. i unexpectedly pass my DRQ! hopefully it will carry on to the promos. my nose turned off awhile.

chemistry. i was sitted at the back. i couldn't see the front at all. and since i din know what she's talking about, i kind of shut off. and my nose was began flowing. and with ah-choo in betweens. and i realise my mucus are turning watery. a very bad omen. this means the path to being sick.

after chem. deliberated a while and trying to think of wad to tell my mum about me wanting to sign out. fortunately, my fears were unfounded. instead, she sounded worried. went to general office to take the sign out form. the clerk is nice. and we found mrs tay to sign the form, with suspiscion in her tone?

i walked with jolynn to the polyclinc. when i was in krangji, she called and said she won't be seeing the doc cos the queue is freaking long. she wants very badly to go the nuh to visit her nephew grant, who's addmiteed for asthama.

i waited for an hour to the doctor. i realised i'm having sinus when i taped on my cheeks. -pain. and my throat is getting inflam. and i'm running a fever. 39/ 38 degrees. she changed my day time influenze mediciation which i now realised it is a bad choice. cos my nose is still dripping.

i studied in the room when i came back cos the weather is worst than an oven. and halfway reading a passage, i doze off and surrended to the sleepy bug by getting myself cozy in my bed.

anyway. hopefully tomolo is alright.

goodluck to me and everyone who's takin the exam.

i have to go the take my dinner- porridge.

Wednesday, September 28th, 2005
bviously i wasn't in the right state of my mind when i was taking the gp exam. =).
so i just hope that i won't fail. dat's all.
my compo was crap. full of examples towards the end as if my gk won't be put to use anymore if i don't put it there. keeping fingers cross.

went lot 1 to eat. oh. ultimate suaning by jolynn and tammie!

we all skipped econs. bad.~

tired. sien. still feeling quite sick. irritated with my nose and throat.

and my chem is worst than shit larh.

met melydia at mobil todae. =)

i'm reading other pple's blog. really really can't understand why despite our age, maturity has failed to set in for the writer. instead, she's overly engrossed in pettiness.? and making a super big mistake by failing to look from more than one perspective. probably this tells a person intellectual level.? mb i'm not in the right position to judge.=)

and i guess people like to live in the present but harbour[right spelling?] over the past. the past is to be remembered and to learn from damn!

Thursday, September 29th, 2005
evident i'm still sick.
i don't know what the hell is my throat telling me.
it's dry but not pain.
and not that dry too.
so what? what what?

and i'm still feeling so warm.
mixed signals my body is givin me.dammitttt.

not in the right state not in the right state.

my chem is really worst than shit.
and i've onli been doing a lil chem.
and studying a lil chem.
with nothing going into my un-science brains.

i really think chem is tough. dammn.
eveyrthing is tough.

but it just depends on the amount of effort i need to put in to get the things into my brains.

conclusion:
i'm not a science person.
i'm not an arts person.
what am i?

Friday, September 30th, 2005
nose nose nose nose nose nose nose.
what the hell is my nose doing.

woke up for lunch.
and went to see doc. another one. cos my family doc isn't open as usual.
took an instant test for dengue.
it was negative obviously.

i seriously dunor what flu bug am i being plauged with. it seems sooooooo serious.
clarinase- don't work.
telfast d- don't work.
and even rinafort isn't working well.

the doc gaf me soln to drop into my nose. it works quite well. =)
i'm going to plunged another rinafort. and i will be tired and restless for another day.
rinafort makes me so freaking damn tired.

i think i'm going to be dead for my promos. as long as i get promoted...
my math is really shitty. i dunor how to do also.
my chem is worst than shit.
my econs i haven't touch.

and.
i don't think i'm going for the international food feast or wad at mutiara hotel tomolo. booooo.

nose. respond to the second dosage of rinafort pleaseee!

Saturday, October 1st, 2005
Time: 6:39 pm.
mama and papa is out to pick sis up from customs and off they go to mutiara hotel for the oktober fest. =(

where is my tix going to go? my dad's friend.
what if that tix is a lucky draw one?
the grand prize is i think trip to germany for 2. germany man!

and i've to miss sucha a once in a life time food.

my dinner?
white porridge with steam chicken, brocolli, mushroom.

i asked for that. =)

i've been eating this kind of food since tuesdae. no appetite for oily and savoury food.

my nose is quite okay todae. but i dun haf the mood to do any studying.
and i realise there's still so many things to go for econs.
but i can't get anything in to my brains. scareeeeeyyydd...

argh.
i'll try to go study now.

so that the opportunity cost of not going to the food feast would be some quality study with no body at home.
i hope so.

-and i've concluded i won't take clarinase for day medication. i shall stick with tel fast d.

Time: 10:40 pm.
ho ho ho.
i feel so blessed.
why?
mama called and said the food not nice. it's a german fest to be exact. and the lucky draw, is u must buy the beer or wad den can enter. ha ha ha! and she sae the food alot of ham ham and ham. and the hamss are so sourr. ha ha ha.

i'm feeling hungry. feel like eating cerals. but lazy.

now left with alternative theory for the mkt structure part.
and den i still need to study wage [totally cluess] and central problems of economics.

when can i finish?
since like that, i dun intend to touch chinese.

arghhhhhhh. my life is freaking messed up.

i think i dun feel so stress when i'm studying.
know why?
because when i'm not studying, i am more stressed when i think about how much more i've left.

shhhh...alternative theory in action.
and then i'm going to sort out the mkt structure things. [ i doubt what i've studied is in my headdd] ha-ha-ha!

2005-09-22T19:43:00.000-07:00

put up some pictures....
todae is so tired.
i shuld have ponned math.
aniwae i'm going to sch tomolo.
damn slack these few days cos i'm freakin tired

2005-09-21T21:31:00.000-07:00

so bloody hell..
sch organising trip to mount kinabalu.
this expedition, i've been tightly tracking everything about it since last year.
but our sch trip is from 22-26 november [ my birthdae!]
and i'm going off to beijing on 27 november. wad ther hell!
shall go with daddy jie jie and mama [errrr...] some other time! mb after my a levels. next year matta fair shall be a spree for me. [i noe no body 'll get wad i mean and i'm not going to elaborate damn!]

jiejie is hired! for her attachement. haha. she din update her hp contact with ntu and so the co. coouldn't get her. she tot she's not being hired..she finanly called them and she got it. she's in the ipo project. and mb going to china also. haha..

my korean show start le! bye.

hellllll.

2005-09-16T13:30:00.000-07:00

i skipped school today. cos it's really useless to go to school! i tell u why
0800-0930- pe
0930-1015- bathe
1015-1100- gp consultation
1100-1230- assembly.
and then go home. what ther hell.

i took cw3 back home on monday and yesterdae. yay. it's nice. monday it took me lik 1h45min to get to my door step. while yesterdae onli 1h15min like that oonli. actualli i think it's dammn fast.
on monday, i met sis friend on the bus. she's an ex pioneer. so talked about her life in pj. haha. she's super rebellious! we waited for a bus to take us back home at gelyang patah for quite some time.
yesterdae, dad fetched me from gelyang patah. shuldn't have asked him to do so cos yesterdae it would be faster if i were to take the bus back. aiyah. dunor how to sae larh.

mondae the bus left je at 6.15. so i tot yesterdae also same time. i reached there about 6 and went buy snacks to makan and also to change conis. when i came out, i saw the bus was already full. i ran!!!!

I THINK I WILL LIVE LONGER IF TRAVEL BY SECOND LINK!
no stress- the bus will wait for you!
no pollution- the scenery is damn nice and the air is damn clean.

yesterdae while me and tammie were going to x the road to the bus stop,
tam: eh there got teacher
me: nvm larh cross

at the bus stop. the teacher demanded our names and summore sae we wil be notified of a cwo lesson on a saturday. this is shit larh. i was so pissed. cos the road was super damn clear. it is as if we dun have the right mind to cross the road when there are damn alot of cars. eh wad ther hell. i was realyy pissed.

but if i had listened to tammie, then this won't happened. eh tammie sorry leh.
dun think u'll be reading also. haha!

i tot i wuld be gettin up at 8 todae but i woke up at 10 instead. snoooozzeeeeee.

went had lunch came back alreadi 1pm. and did tutorial 11 till now. onli like 3qn done? that chap is so bloody hell.

and the plan i've written for wad to do todae is completety useless now. arghhh. heading for doomsday.

went home late yesterdae cos i went for econs consultaion with tam and jiaqi. marilynn and me joined them. and we ended complaing about chem teacher to our dearest econs teacher. she's damn nice! haha.

our chem teacher is really bloody hell. i dunor wad the hell is wrong with her. dun wan to elaborate larh. i've repeated wad she has done to us on wednesday damn alot of times. i repeated everything to my mum in the car right after i stepped into the car. hehe.

aiyah. gtg le.!

booooo

2005-09-11T18:48:00.000-07:00

last day of my sept holidays.

hell shit. i've been damn lazy to update.
and these few days i've been sleep at 4+am. the time i usually wake up to go to sch! how to sleep todae?

=DIE.

tomolo i'm going take the cw3 bus back home. yesh. it stop right outisde my hse. just got to walk in. cos the bus can stop anywhere along any road when it's back in malaysia. haha!

chem test again on wed. hell shit. i better pass.

i tot econs was at 11.30 on thurs so i went at that time. but it started at 9.30. wad ther.

went make my international passport on thurs..cos i'm officially going to beijing on nov27. a day after my birthdae. we got 3 dates to go during nov. nov13,20 and 27. nov 13 is a lil rush and not safe..nov 20 is by air china and we have to put a night in kl cos the plane lands in kl very late. nov 27 is the best. though it's one day after my birthdae! wad ther.

yay. i 'm going to take mas air bus! first flight out of my county. sua-gu! haha. but not the first flight out of peninsula malaysia. cos i went sarawak b4. dat's 7 years ago.. air bus air bus. wohooo. but this year alot of plane crasshhh. and mas is in transition state of changing a new ceo now.. woot. hopefully nothing happen. aniwae..still soooo far away.

my promos are so much nearerrrr. die die dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

i think i am really offically cca less. i din go for the archery internal com thing. aiyah. heck.

my testiomonial will be emptyyy..

daddy went out early in the morning to larkin market to buy crab claws. he bought 2 kg. so much. i ate alot during lunch. going to ctd during dinner...! and then he went to orang asli there throw rubbish. met his friend so ate breakfast with him. then..his car cannot start. his mechanic went to attend some course. so he had to tow his car to the mechanic's workshop~. i think no.3 time his car kena towed. haha.

mummy is finally cooking after one wk of kitchen closed. cooked lunch yesterdae and lunch and dinner todae. we've been going out shoppping alot during the wk. around jb onli~

jiejie took cw3 back on friday night. reached hoem 9pm+. she say..the bus got 80++ pple. ahha.!

the wk end b4 gp paper- go back malacca for grandma birthdae.
the wk end b4 other papers [oct 1st]- food feast or something like that in mutiara hotel.

oh. time gone. i better make sure i really pia b4 i go and enjoy..yay at least i'm going outstation. though not to kl. i think my dad is going to make a trip back to kl..to see the apartment again..~ dun think i'm going..but i want to to kinokunya..argh! every sunday star got 30% cut out coupon for their selected boooks. why jb dun haf one?

that day talked over skype with ssy. haha.

and i'm so engrossed over my phone. now den i realised it's a smart phone, a symbian series 60 phone. so i can install alot alot of things. alot of games..and now i noe how to use my phone better. but i still can't install a dictonary..argh. i wasted more than 4 hours on that man.

4 yrs on 911...

gtg bathe..

spa f1 todae. if alonso wins, he will become the youngest world champ in f1 hist. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

=)

2005-09-03T23:50:00.000-07:00

wednesday:
intend to wake up at 8+am. but i was woken up around 7+. why? because i need to vomit. and i vomitted my life out. i sat beside the toilet bowl and puked. went back and forth to the mattress to wait for more things to swim up my oesophagous.

my parents decided to drive me to school for the mechanism test. i skipped school, which is teachers' day celebration to study for the test. i was messenging tamie, then she said 'where you? everyting cancelled no need to go le' hell. where was i? i have crossed tuas checkpoint at that time. decided to try to see if i still can take the test.

reached school, concert still on. so waited till it was over. went ask HER. she replied me hastily 'i won't be conducting any extra lessons or tests todae.' and walked away. i wanted to talk more but found my self choking in my tears already. i wakled off, she also walked off. tears rolling down uncontrolablly while i was walking down the ramp. my parents were sitting at the ramp waiting for me. shocked with my tears and we left. and there was some 'confrontation' in the car.

i can't go out for any meet up with my sec friends cos i'm sick. sorry penny...

thursday:
after chem tutition, went see doc. my family doc wasn't open so went to another doc. got an mc. decided not to go back to school on fridae since fridae is a shit waste day. cleared up my table [again]. i think i'm hell paranoid over the cleaniness of my table when i'm studying. i'll wipe it everyday before i do anything on it. this means- real studying. [i hope so.haha]

friday:
woke up late as usual. went near my hse coffee shop take lunch, bathe. then did some work. and dinner time. i din wan to go out to eat. cos i must bathe when i come back. paranoid i guess. haha. but can't be so bad. so i went out to eat porridge for dinner at another coffee shop. coffee shops everywhere around my house. not too dirty not too nice food. =) anyway, quite a number of cafe too. have not been going as often.

evening: i haven't tell mr boh i'm not going for the sdp camp. messaged him and he called me. 'you are the short short girl wear specs de?' and ask if i'm really really sick. then ask what sickness. i said vomit and diarrhea. it's true. then he ask me take care.

then then. tamie ask if i'm going archery. of course not. actually we inteneded to go back to sch to take the chem hol asgn that SHE has given us. but in the end, we decided not to go back cos jess say monday she focusing on tutorial mass spec. hell. monday 2.30-5pm her lessons. eeks.

I'VE DEVELOPED A PHOBIA OF ATTENDING HER LESSONS.

today:
woke up for lunch again. read newspaper. hurricane katrina is freaking devasting. it's just like tsunami. and you would really wonder 'IS THAT AMERICA?' new orleans is a black dominated area [ southern united states are black areas]. 28% of the people there live below the poverty line. and now they are doing mass evacuation of people who are seeking shelter in the astrodome stadium to texas using coach buses.

do you know, the people actually shot at police and rescue officers..

haiz..

afternoon sang karoke alone but found myself not in the right mood so i stopped. haha. then did some work...evening, went jogging with daddy. we're quite bad. commented on the man, who's there everyday, hiding behind bushes doing some werid exercies [if u can them excersies] but still having his belly button as big as the first time i've ever seen him! haha. uh. i was quite happy with my stamina today. can run longer than the last time i went. mb cos i've enough rest and is free from travelling, pollution, HER words blah. as usual, we did the stunt: flip our body around and hang there. and todae i did a lil sprint which ate up practically all my energyyyyyy!!!!! at least all the toxic germs have been sweated out! then i helped daddy wash the outside floor. i was practically taking the pipe and sweeping only. haha. then watered the outside plants by just spraying water from the inside. i lower the pipe whenever i see any motorcyles or cyclist passing by! i think the road is wet enough the tell them to reduce speed. or else the water will be splasing on them!

dinner till 8.45pm. then went jusco @ tmn universiti. jie wanna buy working shoes but we couldn't get one cos the nice one dun haf her size.

and here i'm... hehhe.

i was reading 31st aug publication of newspaper today. cos it's the national day one i decided to read it to feel the malaysian spirit. i think malaysia is the nicest place on earth. why? we're free from natural disasters, free from political turmoil, free from terror attacks. we've beautiful beaches, islands, forset and everyhing. we've a super rich culture. we've fantastic food. we've freedom to near infinity!

the newspaper also said:
after 48 years of independence, teh tarik and nasi lemak is still a malaysian must.
where on earth can you find johor laska, chee jong fan [wadever it is spelt] and indian rice on one table?
where can you find mamak stall? [it is stalls usually operated by indian muslims that are operated 24 hours where young malaysians always spend their nights to mornings watching soccer, chit chatting]

such rich malaysian flavour. i really wonder when i can enjoy the mamak day out...

someone also commented that when you are in malaysia, you don't appreciate being a malaysian, living in malaysia. but when you go overseas, it's the time when you miss malaysia to the core.

me? kind of. though i'm not staying overseas. haha.

and malaysians chinese and other races have been living with racial favourtism that doesn't apply to us/them so much so that we are care less about it!

and heyhey! i noe how to sing malaysia national anthem le!!! so the next time i go to sepang watch f1, i can sing my national anthem proudly, unlike in 2003, i stood there as if i'm a foreigner! hehe.

oooppsss. talked too much about malaysia.! haha.

oh..lynn is now in u.s already!!!

and yesterdae when i was flipping thro' friendster then i realise rachel, becky's sis is in rjc. wah~!

and that jj singer was from acjc.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2005-08-29T22:42:00.000-07:00

repliesss:
i'm not dat bz. just lazy..hehe..

JIEHUI! ARE YOU GOING BACK? MUST MUST TELL ME!!! I MEAN GOING BACK QPS ANOT?
----------------------------------------------------

bitch. and fuck!

i really din say the f word for so long but i used to alot todae. esp after sch. and noe wad happened after school?

5 chem tests in a row. i know i'm a villian. a helluuyah cheater. hehe. i just need it to pull me up by abit.
because..

my chem test got 5/30. previous one is 6.5/30. and so hell. i'm dead dead dead.

i really hate chem lessons now. esp when she sae 'memorize the mechanisms.' i really feel like crying out whenever i hear that. because i dun understand how to memorize. and i dunor how to memorize also. and attending her lessson to me now is useless cos i dunor anything. really dunor anything. and being in her lesson just make me feel more like giving up. i'm even tired of listening to her voice. the way she speaks blah. is so irritating and hurting and insulting? what the fucking shit is my life heading towards?

yesh. i've chem tuition. dat's why the only mechanism i noe how to do is haloalkane cos my tutor just went thro' with me. he really explain to me. and when i asked him 'so is the only way to study organic chem is by memorising?' he lafed quite alot! cos he say.. must understand den no need to memorize so hard. and it's true. but he sae if no choice den hafta memorize. i really like my chem tutor alot! of course..the price i pay. =)

went city sq help daddy buy com speaker. haha. rm19 bucks. cheapest i can find. i noe can bargain. but i was pisssed off with chem so i decided to let the shopkeeper earn larh. i saw my bluetooth adpater. hell 70ringgit. i bought it for onli rm47 during the pc fair!!!

went matta fair yesterdae. bought digi cam. with so many damn freebies. a jvc dvd, triopd stand, mug, cam bag, 200 prints, 128mb memory card. oh man! damn nice bargain. aniwae stil dunor who going the reliance overseas trip.... and and. my family bought tix to zoo and night safari for onli rm50! we kinda tot of celebrating xmas in singapore this year since sis is doing her attachment le. she's going to work!

have changed my speces to the nerdy one. den sis so troublesome. she wear my specs nicer but she make another one..the metal red kinda. den now she ask the optician to change to my kinda of frame. so hafta wait another 2-3 days. she can't wear contacts for 2 months cos of something wrong to her eyes. hahaahahahaaaaa.! =) evil!

todae had dinner with mama and sis at pelangi plaza vivo. damn nice! and the pple so damn cute. cos no body..den when the waiter going to take out the food. den the chef will rush there..waitttt. and put onput on the malaysia small flag which i took all home. cos they gaf us damn alot. we aksed them to cut the bread into 3..so we can eat easily..den u noe wad..they put one flag on all three. so damn cute! and they all so damn friendly. i dun mind eating there again and again! and the ambience is nice. nice to study! =)

so damn full.
i dun feel like giong sch tomolo and wed. see mrs tay i will die. haiz...........

wed..hopefully nice..meet up with my beloved old friends. mb i'm going back to qihua also bah.

so late le better go..
wait...

CAUSEWAY LINK NOW HAS A BUS WHICH ALSO STOPS OUTSIDE MY HOUSE HERE [ 5 MIN WALK] WHICH TRAVELS TO SINGAPORE VIA SECOND LINK!!! OMG....!!!
so if it really is gd. i think next year i dun wann take sch bus le. hu noes i can leave home around 6 and can reach sch on time. hehe. hope so!

camp this wkend. dieshit again. =(

arghh

2005-08-24T22:47:00.000-07:00

pny: aiyo. din really see the need to tell you! haha. since lj will have more of wad i'm saying =)
shirong: i din say blogspot rawks aniwae! haha.
jess: aiyah. go do something better than see me lose! haha.
germs: same boat same boat. hopefully we are light enough so that it won't sink. haha. lameeee~
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
scared and stressed.
boooooooo..

todae i din even go for the camp thing. went st. home.
din sleep cos i slept for 1 hour during gp.
aniawe econs test is shit again larh.

was trying to studying chembonding..my tut notes. now onli halfway copying again. cos my cher handwriting is..hehe. grassyy! but dun understand so i stop le.

arghhh tired shit tired shit.

everything is to shitttyyy nowwww..

i'm trying to get home asap possible now a days. dun like to stay long in spore ?haha wad damn excuse.

todae on the way home. hell shit.
i saw an acjc gurl!
saw so many gd sch pple todae. RI, RV, ACJC, HCI.

and met riverside fren..who i din talk for like 2 years plus. haha. he werid weird de!'

aniwae. i hate sch! not hate friends. but stupid sch.

todae found out that the mercs belongs not to principal. i think belongs to some malay teacher. wad ther...

gtg. byez

holy shitttt!

2005-08-23T23:00:00.000-07:00

hell shit hell shit.

still got 2 more matches of badminton to play onfridae. bound to lose. i got no mood to play. but i still have to play cos i have to get points for the house. haiz.

tomolo camp training shit. have collaborated with xiao lei to runnnnnnn after first part. hehe. den i shall flee home and sleep.

chem spa todae was okay. first time i'm so successfulllllll!

needa pee needa peee.

econs essay test tomolo. no moodddddd...=(

d e f e a t e d

2005-08-21T01:47:00.000-07:00

defeated. aiyah. heck heck heck. i'm not going to bother bout it.
haha. daddy sae 'even if in international games also got like dat. so it's quite common.'
errr......~

die die die.
so many things yet to be done but i'm still wasting my damn ass time typing all these damn ase words.
promos is coming and my damn ass is still not moving towards to right direction: study.
damn ass damn ass damn ass!
i'm damn ass-ly getting more irritated by my damn ass school.
i'm damn ass-ly wishing to get out of my damn ass school as soon as possible.
i'm damn ass-ly getting more introvet.
i'm damn ass-ly feeling to get out of singapore.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............

T I R E D

2005-08-18T23:10:00.000-07:00

replies first:
jiehui: gimme your bloggg!!!
germs: here am i again! blame mrs tay for me not coming online! haha.
jo: this is extra de only! superimpose! so pple can tag!
penny: I WON'T ABANDON LJ! you spent so much effort getting the account for me last time! where can abandon.! lj foreverrrrrr. hehe.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
my life is nothing more than TIRING! and i'm feeling damn tired.
this week till noow is so messed up.

mondae
i came back home only to see the air con man servicing the air con. i had to clear up the whole of upstairs mop the surfaces, sweep and mop the floor, while mama cooked dinner. so damn tired. so i din feel like studying anymore.

tuesdae
mrs tay kind extra chem lessons from 5 to 7pm. what ther... i took 170 but i waited damn long for the bus. and when i reached singapore customs, the queue to get my damn student pass [passpot] scanned was so freaking long. even 'singapore passports'. and when i went down, the queue for the bus was also damn long. and there were no buses in sight! i waited like 10 minutes b4 i managed to squeeze up the bus. and so i stood infront of this old lady.

she: where's your school?
me: chua chu kang
she: everyday travel?
me: yar.
she: very 'xin ku' blah. what time you leave home?
me: 4.50pm my bus pick me up.
and blah blah blah.
she: you sec what?
me: college
she: wah..
blah~

oh freak man. it's really not that big deal studying in singapore and travelling across the causeway. i can't stand people who like make a freaking big fuss over it. i'm irritated seriously. don't pity me don't sympthazie me. if u do that, you are just sympahtazing my parents' decision. no parents would want to harm their own children. and i understand why my parents have made such a decision. i really thank them for sending me to singapore to study. how many malaysian kids have the chance to enjoy one of the best education system in the world like me? travelling, waking up early, going through the cutoms hussle is just a small scarifice i am making now for my future. =)

reached home 9.15pm that day. cos the whole of jb roads leadingg to danga bay are all closed! rehearsal for the next day bahdawi visit to jb...

wednesdae
dimissed at 1.30pm. so i tot i could go home early, bath, do chem tuition hw den sleep and study for thurs math test. but hell. reached home: part time maid cleaning up the living room. and then mama sae: aunty is coming. oh! hell. so the maid had to clean upstairs first. and when my aunty and her kids and her hushband and the baby she's baby sitting came, my house is in a damn complete mess! and my plans have all jeopardized. i can't stand them. they are so stuborn, so rude, so defiant, so noisy. and the lil baby screams and cries whenever she can't get things she wanted. and i dun see their purpose of their visit. c'mon, my parents office are at home and they need to work. and they can see the maid has to do lots of cleaning. they stayed for 2 hours. argh! if it's wkend, by all means you come. i will not mind if my plans are spoilt during the weekends. cos weekends are family day! even if u come at night, i won't mind that much also. i can't stand children noises. so freaking irritating!

danga bay thing was shown on tv2 live telecast! and then when i was packing my bag upstairs, i heard 'booommmp booommmp' sound. at first i tot it's the military planes that always fly above the skies having some damn engine trouble and is going to crash. but later, i think think. ehhh noo!! danga bay is setting fireworks! dashed into my parents' room and watched. den dashed down, off the alarm and open the door and ran out to see. but i can't see. only can hear! so unfair. haha. i know if we drive like 10 minutes to the seaside or mb less, we can see damn clear. cos my hse is actually opposite danga bay only. aniwae, dun think anione would understand what i'm talking about. i haven't told anyone about how near my house is to customs if there's a bridge that cuts across danga bay that straits. my house is acutally that peninsula opposite! onli last year then i realise damn! haha.

oh. b4 that, when i was studying for my math test, sis sent her resume and asked us to edit for her. so me and daddy editied till 12+. daddy wrote and i typed. i gave up the time i have to study for math test to type the letter and edit togeter. anyway, i learnt something new. hehe.

and so i went to bed around 12.30am. .. ...

todae
i won 2 moive tix fr a math society quiz..argh. have to go up the ramp early in the damn morning to get it. luckily not todae aniway. aniwae, it's kinda cheating? haha. i won't go into details. but. definitely going to share with my other 3 friends.

todae's hilarious freak! me jo jess and tammie were trying to speak malay. and the only few words were hitam, putih, bola, susu, besar, kecil! haha. what ther. all so damn dirty!

going home, i went up 170. ehhey. i saw cherfu sleeping. sat infront of him. then i heard him talkin over the phone. so i turned aruond to look at hime. but he still din see me. den later he 'aaa...' haha. den we chatted. he regrets going to poly! later met yong cheng in singapore customs. he had his oral o level todae. and the examiner is ms hesley! so cool!

met mama at city square. had dinner at kinsahi! damn nice. so damn full. and i applied for bliss card. cos i'm a freaking frequent shopper of city square. name me any shops i can bring you there. hehe.

tomolo and the day after
pe netball. hope it would be more fun. saturday, i have a badminton match. representing my house. oh damn! i'm actually in net ball but my cher can't find anibody so asked me to join. haiz. okay lorh..=(. i haven't been playing for sucha damn long time. worried... hope i won't lose too badly~

econs test tomolo.~

malaysia national day is coming. i really need to learn how to sing the national anthem. johorbahru is lined with malaysia flags. damn gorgeous but i wonder how much they have earned. hehe.

and i tot about something yesterdae: singapore traffic police seems to me damn much more worst than kl and jb ones. the traffic police controlling the traffic is totally useless. cos still jam. while kl and jb ones..woho..smooth smoothhh smootth... saw on traffic police in working when i was wokring to jalan segate yesterdae. damn pro damn pro!

oh yah. singapore customs: gurkhas everywhere with their machine guns. i really wonder when the attack will come. that's why i have a contact in my phone book: ICE -in case of emergency. people out there..you all should have one too. =) i read this from the newspaper.. this is invented by a cambridge dunor who or what. it save many lives during i think july 7 blasts. =) up to you to believe me...

bye!

=)

2005-08-12T21:28:00.000-07:00

changed my tag board. cos i can't get that size right! hehe.
can't really remember what have you all written.
but evelynn..i miss you too!
so long no seeeeee....
and happy belated birthdae!
haha.

arghhhh....

2005-08-10T17:30:00.000-07:00

arghhh
i'm realli going to be dead!!!
juz got back from tuition... and i've yet to start studying for chem test tomolo!
and so fail again most likely.
and now mrs tay is back, that means nagging and scoldings.
i'm dead dead dead.
the weather is such a fuck!!!
so freaking hot that i sweat juz now when i juz stood at the bookshop waiting for my photostating sutff.

i'm getting more and more silent these few days...
dun feel like talking that much..
feeling the tension of my future...

=(

anyway, something to look forward for this week: PE ON FRIDAE- NETBALL!

firstentry!

2005-08-09T11:13:00.000-07:00

rush rush blog set up!
actually this skin is sabrina's toh kind.
but i edited a bit.
i have it damn simple. =)
anyway this blog is for people who want to tag!
i'll have my livejournal entries posted here too.
i haven't finish putting up everything so there's only two links for around me.
shall complete everything during the weekend i hope.
gtg run to touch organic chem!
byez.