i'm a foreigner in a foreign country.
why'm i here? this is a fucking post. u can dun read if u think you will feel fucked up over wad i sae. tell u first. it's really fucking. but i'm really voicing out.
anywae...
shuk: that's not my god. my cousin's one..in kl..i think now shuld be quite big le. but i hope it's still there. cos she always buy and sell buy and sell. cos last time she lives in condo. now move to landed property le..and she claims she won't sell this dog. and all my cousins hope so. but we sae 6 months later the dog sure gone le. haha.
yesterdae:
on the way to sch, on bus 160. i was sleeping soundly as usually, with the notion that din wake up in time nvm. yingxuan will wake me up. but when i woke up...oh no...i turned to looked at him. and he smilied. grzzzzz....we've already missed the bustop that we were suppposed to get down to walk the forest. but luckily this is 160. so we got down at phoenix.
so todae:
i kept waking up in b/w my sleep. = not sleeping soundly..that wad went on in my brain till now is
someting like..
"the iraq's oil for food programmee investigation has finally finished. more than 2000 companies are involved in this scandal, they include siemens and damlier chrysler from germany. saddmn hussein sold oil to them despite un's sanction. this is because he can sell oil as long as he use the money to buy hunamitarian stuff like medical supply. those foreign co involved claim that they have no idea this is going on because this might be the job of the middleman. and this investigation cos 15 million or 1.5 billion.i can't remember."
ha-ha. i wonder how's saddamn now. he stil claims that's he's the legetimate president of iraq. which my daddy always sae so. and he's tried in such an unbiased court. wad the hell is this? m. but pple who really suffered under his regime tot that dae he was trialed was only a fantasy in the past.
I WAS REALLY FUCKED UP TODAY.
i went to the office in the morning to hand in my ns thingy letter. the clerk told me to go back after school.
i went back after school. and asked the person at the counter for cip form also. she's fucko pissed off by my smiling face. and when i explained to her that i want to collect my letter, she replied to me in a way as if i'm shit. loudly, rudely, impaitently. why? cos i'm a malaysian har? fuck. i was keeping my cool. din flare up. but i was feeling so unjustified and hurt by the way she's talking to me that i began to feel my tear duct flowing. i explained to her that i got selected for ns letter so i had given a letter asking for a defferal letter. i told her. i told her. but she's saying i dunor and all that stuff. and sae the clerk half day, has already gone home. and seeing that i'm on the verge of breaking down, she told me to return 15 minutes later, there's another clerk who's gone to lunch. i went out without listening finsh wad she was saying. and i controlled my tears. yes. mb she's busy and dat's why she's so fucke up. BUT THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT.. i dun understand why she talked to me that way. if i were xiaoli of the past, i would have flared up at her and shouted at her and demanded my letter. but no. i learn my way.
after going to the toilet, i waited outside the office. i din want to go in without the clerk having returned from lunch. because i dun want to see her. i noe it would evoke my fucking tears again. i dunor wad happened. i cried again. and this time -cannot stop. i tink i freaked jess out. and nancy passedby. tot i did badly for promos or wad. and so the chinese man i think he's the operation manager came by. and asked me what i doing there? asked me who i looking for ? or wad i looking for? i said i looking for someone and something. and he went in. and the clerk came out. she was kind. and asked me if i were the one who gave a letter to her this morning. she said i shuld have said to that rude fellow i want my deferment letter. i call it deferal letter. i dunor which is right. i said that i explained to her evreything and she din understand, choking on my own tears and my already bad nose since morning. she said calm down..and she's like dat. the clerk told me to write down my i/c no. and said dey can't type without my i/c. i attached the photostated letter. which was not filled in that's why.
even when i left the office, i couldn't stop my tears.. until i reached coffee bean.
the waiter... din ask me for my name. i tot cos no body so no need name.
den when i sat down. i saw..he drew a specs on the cup. haha.
and oh ya. when i was at the underpass, i donated money. to ward off the bad karma i experienced at the office.
i guess it's cos i'm too bloody tired and stressed over chinese. when i'm tired and stressed, i tear easily.
and. while i was walking forest, which was a bad choice cos it just rained and the path was completely flooded for a few section and i had to find a way out of course. which is. dun walk on the path le larh. walk on the grass. it paid off. but requires damn alot of balancing. which i've been losing since this morning.
and so from the forest till i reach singapore customs [there's big jam], i was thinking. how shuld i deal with such unruly person. i tot i whuld have said loudly 'THANKYOU VERY MUCH' to her b4 i left. and i wonder why isn't she sacked? and why having being a human for so long, and being in the working world for so long, she still dunor how to control her temper? sounds so childish to me. i wonder how come such old people are so immature. seems like i'm thinking better than her. she needs to be more mindful. anyway. i silently swear to myself that..next time when i go in to the office, if she's the only person i can approach, i will meet my eyes' with hers and walk out. no use talking to humans who doesn't treat me like one. one time is enough. this sounds immature eh? haha. mb i shall be magnanimous and forget and forgive wad has happened. see how things progress... hehe. but if she's still like wad she's den. byebye.
and also.
i tot. WHEN CAN I GET OUT OF SINGAPORE???
is it because this year...
i'm suddenly living a world without any foreigner friends around me.
without any malaysians around me.
that i can't talk about things happening in malaysia...
like...DO YOU NOE @ JOHOR JAYA..somewhere aorund there..mount austin there... A DAMN BIG JUSCO IS OPENING? IT'S LIKE MID VALLEY SO LONG U NOE!!!!!! rumors sae there will be ikea. i hope it's true. dadddy sae it will open b4 xmas.ahhhh!!! tell non malaysians...as if they noe where mount austin, johor jaya are and wad is jusco.
and i somewhat feel that people in the island think they are always far superior than us. and think that malaysians are sua gu assholes, who are living in a backward country.
and my life in pj is fucked as a malaysian. especially when i'm late for sch due to jams, they interrogate me as if i'm late on purpose each and everytime i am late. and i have to repeat the same old thing.
i really think those people who ask me the same qn about my late coming shuld try out my life. they are the real sua- gu asses. and i hate them for sympathezing me for waking up half past 4 in the morning. hell. use their fucking brains and think. want to see if i'm lying. go to the internet to check the traffic condition of the causeway larh. or call traffic watch. want the number? even my grandpa noes how to use it.
hell.
and it's really no fucking big deal being a malaysian who stays in jb and travel in singapore everyday to school. sua gu asses again. dun wah over this damn miniature matter. this is magnify your sua gu ness.
at least nearly all my malaysian friends noe somehow current affairs. cos their parents will touch about it a lil. now? no. i'm dead. i'm really dying. prepare a coffin. haa.
i dun like life now.
of course i dun mean singapore is completely bad. there are nice ones too. but my life is crowded with suagu ones..ever since i come to pj.
but. i noe where's my home- malaysia.
i won't be a singaporean. the most a PR. nothing more than that.
and i'll nv call it a home.
retirement will be in malaysia or elsewhere but not this island country.
and btw. if i dun say i'm a malaysian, everybody thinks that i'm a singaporean. ever since i've been in p1. it's like that.
and so when i'm back in malaysia, i'm always mistaken for a singaporean, which i really hate like mad. that's why i put my malaysian i/c in my wallet, hoping that when i take money, they will see i'm also one of them. and i always try to speak malay. er. u noe larh. my malay cmi.
eg: at holiday plaza..i was paying for the parking.
me: card cannot ..
he does something.
he: singapore?
me: tak..malaysian..sekolah singapore.
when i shuld sae..
tak..saya malaysian, tapi berlajah singapore.
no...i'm malaysia, but study in singapore.
haha. dunor if this is right.
but the most proudest conversation is on causeway link.
i pressed the bell and told the driver..
er...bustop turun.
dat means get down at the bustop. haa. turun. sounds chim to me k? haha.
but everytime when i changing bus in gelyang patah when i go home by second link...i would go..
uncle..pergi perling?
but i shuld sae..
encik, ini bus pergi perling?
sir, this bus goes to perling?
there's one time i was in gelyang patah waiting for my dad. the bus conductor said in malay...that why i not getting up the bus. i can't speak but can understand a lil.
me..so dumb. replied:
papa datang. = daddy coming.
haha.
later when i got on the car, i immmediately asked my dad how to say it properly.
but now i've forgotten...hehe.
at least i noe my satu dua tiga perfectly till sepuloh. and i can listen perfectly to how much in malay. which my sis can't last time. haha. she has taken malay course in uni. which is so hilarious. her teacher asked her to form a sentence. she said....
' saya potong kepala!' her whole class burst into laughter!
instead of
'saya potong kelapa'
kepala= head
kelapa= coconut
saya= I
potong= cut
haha. so i speak malay like shit. but it's still understandable. i think if i go ns and speak this kind of malay, people would laf like mad. haha. i aim for a fluent malay.
provincial plan: after a levels, get the secondary school history textbook...in malay of course. but sounds dumb.
mm..
xiao ren guo thinks tat:
west side pple
freak out over malaysians who live in jb and study in sg.
dun talk as sharp
not gentleman.
dun do extreme gossiping.
dun give bad to the extreme remarks.
and blah blah.
as compared to north side people.
dat's why we are both dying.
awhile more. awhile more. i'll leave this place full of non- foreigners. . . . and suagu asses...
anywae...
shuk: that's not my god. my cousin's one..in kl..i think now shuld be quite big le. but i hope it's still there. cos she always buy and sell buy and sell. cos last time she lives in condo. now move to landed property le..and she claims she won't sell this dog. and all my cousins hope so. but we sae 6 months later the dog sure gone le. haha.
yesterdae:
on the way to sch, on bus 160. i was sleeping soundly as usually, with the notion that din wake up in time nvm. yingxuan will wake me up. but when i woke up...oh no...i turned to looked at him. and he smilied. grzzzzz....we've already missed the bustop that we were suppposed to get down to walk the forest. but luckily this is 160. so we got down at phoenix.
so todae:
i kept waking up in b/w my sleep. = not sleeping soundly..that wad went on in my brain till now is
someting like..
"the iraq's oil for food programmee investigation has finally finished. more than 2000 companies are involved in this scandal, they include siemens and damlier chrysler from germany. saddmn hussein sold oil to them despite un's sanction. this is because he can sell oil as long as he use the money to buy hunamitarian stuff like medical supply. those foreign co involved claim that they have no idea this is going on because this might be the job of the middleman. and this investigation cos 15 million or 1.5 billion.i can't remember."
ha-ha. i wonder how's saddamn now. he stil claims that's he's the legetimate president of iraq. which my daddy always sae so. and he's tried in such an unbiased court. wad the hell is this? m. but pple who really suffered under his regime tot that dae he was trialed was only a fantasy in the past.
I WAS REALLY FUCKED UP TODAY.
i went to the office in the morning to hand in my ns thingy letter. the clerk told me to go back after school.
i went back after school. and asked the person at the counter for cip form also. she's fucko pissed off by my smiling face. and when i explained to her that i want to collect my letter, she replied to me in a way as if i'm shit. loudly, rudely, impaitently. why? cos i'm a malaysian har? fuck. i was keeping my cool. din flare up. but i was feeling so unjustified and hurt by the way she's talking to me that i began to feel my tear duct flowing. i explained to her that i got selected for ns letter so i had given a letter asking for a defferal letter. i told her. i told her. but she's saying i dunor and all that stuff. and sae the clerk half day, has already gone home. and seeing that i'm on the verge of breaking down, she told me to return 15 minutes later, there's another clerk who's gone to lunch. i went out without listening finsh wad she was saying. and i controlled my tears. yes. mb she's busy and dat's why she's so fucke up. BUT THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT.. i dun understand why she talked to me that way. if i were xiaoli of the past, i would have flared up at her and shouted at her and demanded my letter. but no. i learn my way.
after going to the toilet, i waited outside the office. i din want to go in without the clerk having returned from lunch. because i dun want to see her. i noe it would evoke my fucking tears again. i dunor wad happened. i cried again. and this time -cannot stop. i tink i freaked jess out. and nancy passedby. tot i did badly for promos or wad. and so the chinese man i think he's the operation manager came by. and asked me what i doing there? asked me who i looking for ? or wad i looking for? i said i looking for someone and something. and he went in. and the clerk came out. she was kind. and asked me if i were the one who gave a letter to her this morning. she said i shuld have said to that rude fellow i want my deferment letter. i call it deferal letter. i dunor which is right. i said that i explained to her evreything and she din understand, choking on my own tears and my already bad nose since morning. she said calm down..and she's like dat. the clerk told me to write down my i/c no. and said dey can't type without my i/c. i attached the photostated letter. which was not filled in that's why.
even when i left the office, i couldn't stop my tears.. until i reached coffee bean.
the waiter... din ask me for my name. i tot cos no body so no need name.
den when i sat down. i saw..he drew a specs on the cup. haha.
and oh ya. when i was at the underpass, i donated money. to ward off the bad karma i experienced at the office.
i guess it's cos i'm too bloody tired and stressed over chinese. when i'm tired and stressed, i tear easily.
and. while i was walking forest, which was a bad choice cos it just rained and the path was completely flooded for a few section and i had to find a way out of course. which is. dun walk on the path le larh. walk on the grass. it paid off. but requires damn alot of balancing. which i've been losing since this morning.
and so from the forest till i reach singapore customs [there's big jam], i was thinking. how shuld i deal with such unruly person. i tot i whuld have said loudly 'THANKYOU VERY MUCH' to her b4 i left. and i wonder why isn't she sacked? and why having being a human for so long, and being in the working world for so long, she still dunor how to control her temper? sounds so childish to me. i wonder how come such old people are so immature. seems like i'm thinking better than her. she needs to be more mindful. anyway. i silently swear to myself that..next time when i go in to the office, if she's the only person i can approach, i will meet my eyes' with hers and walk out. no use talking to humans who doesn't treat me like one. one time is enough. this sounds immature eh? haha. mb i shall be magnanimous and forget and forgive wad has happened. see how things progress... hehe. but if she's still like wad she's den. byebye.
and also.
i tot. WHEN CAN I GET OUT OF SINGAPORE???
is it because this year...
i'm suddenly living a world without any foreigner friends around me.
without any malaysians around me.
that i can't talk about things happening in malaysia...
like...DO YOU NOE @ JOHOR JAYA..somewhere aorund there..mount austin there... A DAMN BIG JUSCO IS OPENING? IT'S LIKE MID VALLEY SO LONG U NOE!!!!!! rumors sae there will be ikea. i hope it's true. dadddy sae it will open b4 xmas.ahhhh!!! tell non malaysians...as if they noe where mount austin, johor jaya are and wad is jusco.
and i somewhat feel that people in the island think they are always far superior than us. and think that malaysians are sua gu assholes, who are living in a backward country.
and my life in pj is fucked as a malaysian. especially when i'm late for sch due to jams, they interrogate me as if i'm late on purpose each and everytime i am late. and i have to repeat the same old thing.
i really think those people who ask me the same qn about my late coming shuld try out my life. they are the real sua- gu asses. and i hate them for sympathezing me for waking up half past 4 in the morning. hell. use their fucking brains and think. want to see if i'm lying. go to the internet to check the traffic condition of the causeway larh. or call traffic watch. want the number? even my grandpa noes how to use it.
hell.
and it's really no fucking big deal being a malaysian who stays in jb and travel in singapore everyday to school. sua gu asses again. dun wah over this damn miniature matter. this is magnify your sua gu ness.
at least nearly all my malaysian friends noe somehow current affairs. cos their parents will touch about it a lil. now? no. i'm dead. i'm really dying. prepare a coffin. haa.
i dun like life now.
of course i dun mean singapore is completely bad. there are nice ones too. but my life is crowded with suagu ones..ever since i come to pj.
but. i noe where's my home- malaysia.
i won't be a singaporean. the most a PR. nothing more than that.
and i'll nv call it a home.
retirement will be in malaysia or elsewhere but not this island country.
and btw. if i dun say i'm a malaysian, everybody thinks that i'm a singaporean. ever since i've been in p1. it's like that.
and so when i'm back in malaysia, i'm always mistaken for a singaporean, which i really hate like mad. that's why i put my malaysian i/c in my wallet, hoping that when i take money, they will see i'm also one of them. and i always try to speak malay. er. u noe larh. my malay cmi.
eg: at holiday plaza..i was paying for the parking.
me: card cannot ..
he does something.
he: singapore?
me: tak..malaysian..sekolah singapore.
when i shuld sae..
tak..saya malaysian, tapi berlajah singapore.
no...i'm malaysia, but study in singapore.
haha. dunor if this is right.
but the most proudest conversation is on causeway link.
i pressed the bell and told the driver..
er...bustop turun.
dat means get down at the bustop. haa. turun. sounds chim to me k? haha.
but everytime when i changing bus in gelyang patah when i go home by second link...i would go..
uncle..pergi perling?
but i shuld sae..
encik, ini bus pergi perling?
sir, this bus goes to perling?
there's one time i was in gelyang patah waiting for my dad. the bus conductor said in malay...that why i not getting up the bus. i can't speak but can understand a lil.
me..so dumb. replied:
papa datang. = daddy coming.
haha.
later when i got on the car, i immmediately asked my dad how to say it properly.
but now i've forgotten...hehe.
at least i noe my satu dua tiga perfectly till sepuloh. and i can listen perfectly to how much in malay. which my sis can't last time. haha. she has taken malay course in uni. which is so hilarious. her teacher asked her to form a sentence. she said....
' saya potong kepala!' her whole class burst into laughter!
instead of
'saya potong kelapa'
kepala= head
kelapa= coconut
saya= I
potong= cut
haha. so i speak malay like shit. but it's still understandable. i think if i go ns and speak this kind of malay, people would laf like mad. haha. i aim for a fluent malay.
provincial plan: after a levels, get the secondary school history textbook...in malay of course. but sounds dumb.
mm..
xiao ren guo thinks tat:
west side pple
freak out over malaysians who live in jb and study in sg.
dun talk as sharp
not gentleman.
dun do extreme gossiping.
dun give bad to the extreme remarks.
and blah blah.
as compared to north side people.
dat's why we are both dying.
awhile more. awhile more. i'll leave this place full of non- foreigners. . . . and suagu asses...
posted by xiaolii at
7:15 AM
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