tellout.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

I NEED A BREAK.
A BREAK FROM LIFE.
A BREAK FROM LIFE WITH PEOPLE AROUND ME.
A BREAK FROM LIFE ASSOCIATED WITH SINGAPORE.

HOW I WISH I CAN STUDY IN REAL OVERSEAS AFTER MY A LEVELS.
IT WON'T HAPPEN.
BUT I JUST WISH FOR A CHANGE.
BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF WHAT'S IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

LOST IDENTITY.
'M I A MALAYSIAN OR A SINGAPOREAN?
WHEN I'M IN SINGAPORE, I FEEL MALAYSIAN.
WHEN I'M IN MALAYSIA, I FEEL SINGAPOREAN.
YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
I CAN BE A SINGAPOREAN IN SINGAPORE.
BUT I FEAR LOSING MY ROOTS.
THOUGH IT MAY SEEM NOT WORTH IT TO RETAIN.
BUT HOME IS ALWAYS HOME.

BUT I CAN NEVER BE A TRUE MALAYSIAN IN MALAYSIA.
BECAUSE I CAN'T SPEAK THE LANGUAGE.

THIS IMBALANCE WILL NEVER BE IN EQUILBRIUM.
H-E-L-P.


wadever~

 
 
 
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Saturday, March 04, 2006

la li da~

common test is just a damn next week.
math die gp die.
die die and die everything die.


drove mama manual car yesterdae.
and i shall conclude that
i drive better with a manual car than an auto one.
ehhey. mb i'm just born to be a racer! hahaha.
dat's real crap.
because i'm making damn alot of mistakes when driving.

and i think it's fun with gears and clutches.
without them, i'm bored.
and i start to worry things that come naturally to me when i'm busy.

bad.

but i wonder if it's cos mama car is smaller.
i can't see alot of things when driving daddy car.

=)

Friday, February 24, 2006

struck. the fragility of life.

the fragility of life. and my new perspective towards life.

"we can lose anyone close to us the very moment. we will never know it."
[ todae or many moments ago, one is standing alive infront of you, with so much shared memories. but the very next time you see he/she, would be his/her body.]

"do not take life for granted."

"do what you want do do. you'll never know when you will be leaving."

"extend your greatest help within your capability."
[ i used to ignore those beggars at the malaysian customs underpass because i used to feel that they could have gotten themselves a job. but now, i feel that, maybe because of me not giving them a ringgit, or mb a few cents, it could have cost their life. no body noe when they will die. wad if the die the very next moment, and the day before when they are beggin, wanted to do something so badly, but because of my selfishness, they couldn't do it. etc. i've been thinking and reflecting about life alot since monday. even if they are hoax, my consioucs is clear. i've helped you with my tiny sum of money. what you do with the money is up to you. ]

"cherish everyone around so that when you go unexpectedly, it's without regrets."
[ something i'm now trying very very to acheive. i'm learning how to treat my parents well. and of course my sister. they have been a very hugggee part of me. and what they have given me is more than what i can give them. ]


something has struck me so hard this time though it's not the first time i'm facing the same situation. because of some similarities, the thought of me being in this situation has been haunting me.

but i was helpless. i'm not in her shoes. i won't know how she feel. here am i, very concerned about her, yet i've done nothing. we've been friends for a decade. very very good friend. she has been my side when i needed her most. but have i been what she has been to me? i doubt so. we even spent holidays together.

i really don't know what shall i do.

i just hope she's being very strong.
i wonder how's she.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

朝阳.

hehe. i just like this two words. of course, this is the cbd district in beijing.
but. IF i say IF which is very unlikely i have a son, [HA-HA-HA], i feel like naming him 朝阳. i think this name is so powerful! BUT when i was scanning through singapore st. directory on xmas eve, there's this -chao yang special school. haha.

朝阳 means follow the sun right? haha. but the sun is dying. whopps. crape!



my xmas eve: ikea and night safari.
supposed to go to the zoo. but when we reached sg, it's already 4. and the zoo closes at 6. so wad to see? and it was still raining at the time. so we decided to go to ikea.
oh. btw...

wednesday:
my parents and i went to moe to pay the donation. of which we were supposed to pay around april. but i din receive any letter from the school. after that, we went to ikea. hell me. such a damn goondooo. i dun even noe the way to ikea!!!! we were so near. at queensway sec there. but hell. i still din noe where to turn. and i kept giving daddy the wrong wrong directions that we kept going the wrong wrong way despite being soooooooo nearrrrr!!!!!! and finally, it was my mum who went..i think it's near alexandra rd. there's a sign board reading that and so we turned in. saw queensway shopping centre!! i was happy. den dad went left or right. stupid me said right. my mum sae shuld be left wad. we were in the traffic light long queue. so we made another u turn to get onto the right tracks. I'M SO DUMB!!!!! but anywae we got there.

haa. one super duper hilarious thing was...
as we were queuing into the carpark, we saw everybody infront just driving to the 'gate' and the gate went up automatically. our turn. dad drove up to the gate...but NOTHING HAPPENED!!!! i saw 'insert cashcard/ autopass' so faster asked my dad to do it. and wad's worst..he couldn't get it in! haha. but eventually yes. haa! i bet the cars behind must be

'aiyo so slow'
looks at our number plate and ' orh..malaysians..canot blame.'!

as we went in, omg. guessed who i saw? xiao hei! haha. me and ma went up the escalotor.
my mum went : who u looking at?
me: my schoolmate
mum: indian arh?
me: ha ha ha! no larh! chinese.

den. went up. aaa..where's my dad??? looked down the escalator but no sight of him. den we went down and i called him. he's in the toilet. he came out and went up the escalator. and i called him soooo many times b4 he responded. haa!

and my parents were quite shocked that ikea actually has that kind of showrooms or models. wadever u call it. it's their first time there. and my first time there with car. hahahahhaaha!

we kinda rushed. cos we have to beat the jam...but we still got stuck in the jam. abit only larh. went back my first link. second link is bloooodddyyy expensive.

back to xmas eve...
anyway, we were damn lucky. when sis checked the internet, second link jam. but when we reached there, it's cleared! but hell singapore customs as usual went about their super duper tight security check. do you noe, there's a small lil hill out of no where? and it's concrete hill. haha. under neath is sure to scan our cars. grz. and as usual gurkahs alot. and their standard height and loook. grz.

and there's lots of kl carrrrs!!!! so many first timers. i noe because...hehe. they stop by the side and go buy their autopass! kl pple go singapore hol okay larh. but johorean like us...go singapore is so weird to me! and to my family.

headed to ikea. via buona vista. so hafta passed by commonwealth mrt station. and that damn stretch of road...FLOODED! so we are lil foolish malaysians, who are supposed to be involved in the north mal flood, got involved in singapore rare flood instead. i snapped a few pics. because..how often do you see flood in singapore? HA HA HA!

at ikea, daddy chose a room and sat down and read newspaper. and we ate there. ikea closed at 6pm that day!



safari.

oh my freakin god. imagine the people. so damn huge crowd. mostly foreigner.- we were one too! haha.
as in mostly by tour group. so many indians! and japanese.

hm...i think it isn't super duper nice..okok only...

tram and walks. and animal show. okok larh. haha. to me the animals are just like singapore zoo. grzz..


after that, we headed down to orchard road. but hell. which ever roads lead to orchard rd, JAM!

we went back jb.

and so back home. =)



i'm so piggy todae. woke up at 12 and went back to sleep at 2 and woke up at 5.30

at least something productive was that i went jogging with daddy later.

and i just completed my photo collage. REAL ONE! 4 x 4=16

i bought a big frame from ikea. which i'm putting the collage into... reason: to cover up the patches of stain on the wall.

my room seriously need painting. since 1996 no paint. but i'm not going kl this year for cny. they are coming down. so...paint? lazy larh. haha.

yun sae her house 3 years paint once. haha. mine???


hm. sch reopening. i dun want!!!!!!

argh. so many typo error and gramatical mistake which i'm too lazy to bother about it.

and. hell. i dun want school!!!!




last year todae, i'm in pangkok island...witnessing small tsunami waves by standing just beside the waves. wth. i din noe i was so close to death that time.

todae is one year on tsunami...

Thursday, December 22, 2005

huggeee sighhh

my grik trip is cancelled.
so where am i for xmas?

actually plan to change the novotel hotel clarke quay from amex..the points collected from the credit card thing. but ma called todae, the thing would be ready by tomolo. and it can't reach jb by sat. wth.

so now?
i think xmas eve just go night safari and mb go orchard countdown and then come back to jb.

singapore hotels are god damn expensive man. [ when i convert to ringgit. =) don't ask me to not convert.]




haizzzzz.
so boringgggggggggggggggggg.


god damn borrrrriiinnnnggggg.


like forever stuck in jb and singapore only.


this is really making me dead.


i spent my whole dae watch vcd todae man. argh. wad a waste.
watched the prince who turned into the frog.
because i missed the in front.
now i'm done with it. =)

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

blog.!

christmas is coming....
where will i be?
grik.
not greek.
grik. is north east of ipoh, north peninsular malaysia.
i will be stuck in some monastry in the middle of the main range,
singing christmas carols with buddha? haha.
24 dec there. 25 dec shuld be kl. 26 dec back to jb.

but. north mal now flood like mad shit.
dunor the area we are going is affected.
we have to cross many many bridges.
and last time daddy went, the bridge collapse.
but when they reached there, they have already repaired the bridge.

haha.
sounds so ulu rite?
and i wonder if dad's coming 10 year old car can tahan!
this car..go so many places b4.
went up to the thai border dunor how many times.
and went up brinchang @ cameron highlands.
it's one of the highest peak car can reach in this area!
and that was really a matter of life and death!
because the road was winding and narrow,
and there's no barricade!
if my dad made a mistake, we would fall into the ravine.
and die!
anyway, dad's car haven't been all the way throu east coast.
i think the furthest only cherating. - club med.

club med. damnnnn. i wanna go! but it's quite expensive...



last weekend was fulfiling. read my lj. haa!



anyway, i think i'm heading for doomsday.
because my home work are piling up as high as the highest thing ever.
and my revisions are negative infinity done.!



hm. if not for being a malaysian, my sis would be in shanghai now
she couldn't go because she doesn't have an employment pass
and so couldn't make business visa.



singapore tomolo? most prob.
supposed to go on mondae.
den supposed to go todae.
and so finally supposed to go tomolo.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

mooddooommeetterrrr : 9.5/10!

I PASSED MY DRIVING THEORY TEST! 43/50.
passed by one mark.
luckily the examiner gave me some answers!
she's good and bad! because she called my '4 eyed girl' in cantonese and i din noe she was referring to me! and when i yawned..she also sae me! haha. but later..when i left alot of blanks..she even flipped to the quenstion..and just gave me the answer!

thomasling messaged me..he got 46/50! smart ass!!!!!!!!

and who i met there?
1) jiayuan- last time chinese tuition mate
2) choon ming- ex pri sch mate and bus mate
3) hong jiun- i think this is his name...ex pri sch mate..
4) yong sheng- ex chinese tution mate too!

and i met this girl who went with me from perling..she studied in aussie.
and i saw this guy..who atteneded the same class as me..i found out..he's from njc! another smart ass.
and i saw this gurl from nyjc. she failed.

and many foreigners..
chinese got about 4..filipino 2..burmese 1.. and indian 1. woho. but they all most of them is like 3/4 timer le..

i really wonder hong jiun got pass! grzz...
and jiayuan was shocked that he din pass!

another reason why my mood is so high...
I DROVE A CAR JUST NOW!
daddy taught me.. start engine, free gear, handbrake, clutch, brake, accelator! woot. so many things. and of course from still to first gear..jerk like mad shit! and sometimes from acceleration to brake.. the engine went off because i din put free gear! but this is fun! i'm having more lessons from daddy after china trip.

and my china trip..
the tour leader called..told my mum alot of things.. and said that our group is 33! wad the hell! sucha a big grp and she also said there're quite a number of children cos most of them are families.. and they come from all over malaysia..jb, penang, sabah..kuantan. wahseh..typical malaysian! oh. mum just said below 18 alot! grz. dun tell me below 8 more. i'll die!

and she told ma..in chengde..lowest -10 and highest is like 2-3 only. i went..crazy. i really hate cold weather. that's why i've no regrets living in 365 24/7 summer climate. oh well..too early for me to say though.. geehee.

and yay. my violin is alive once again! i had 1 hour of violin todae..and i bought the sliencer..wadever it is called! but it lowers the noise...gd..


packing..and seems like i dun haf lots of things to bring lerh. but my mum alot. haha.

tomolo is bbq........shuld i get tanned? yay!
meeting up with beloved people again!!!!!!!!!
i must finish packing to nite! hee